As I was casually surfing the internet this morning I came across three advertisements from a hospital in Thailand (first of all: is it ethical at all for hospitals to advertise? Shouldn’t they shut down the marketing department and invest in new equipment instead!?) encouraging you to choose your baby’s gender before you get pregnant. The slogan which provoked me the most was: "Be a confident mum! Choose your baby's gender BEFORE pregnancy! Gender Selection Procedure will help you determine your baby's gender! Choose now!". 

Forgive me for being a bit cynical, but I have a vague suspicion of which gender would be the preferred one... Now, someone may argue that choosing the baby’s gender before it is conceived is ethically less appalling than aborting female fetuses, but still…? I don’t like it – not at all! ”Be a confident mum”…?! The Marketing Manager should be sent off to northern Siberia on a permanent vacation and meditate on the word confidence. It makes me genuinely upset that the Stone Age-thinking when it comes to gender has not yet been abolished and keeps getting cultural, juridical and political support in many places. But if we disregard the gender of the fetus, what comes next? Choosing your baby’s IQ? Eye-color? Height? Skin-color?

Becoming a mother was not part of my vision of life until quite recently. I have never longed for having children – ever! But ironically, yoga indirectly has made me consider it for more than one reason. One of the reasons is that there must be an incredible spiritual lesson to be learnt through parenting. A lesson of unselfishness and self-sacrifice that could be transformative and as a yogini I always seek to evolve spiritually in my own way. However, if for some reason I won’t have children I won’t weep bitter tears over it as I have outsourced that decision to a presumably highly competent divinity, with a pretty good track record and an impressive CV. But if it does happen… I will regard it as a blessing and a divine opportunity to evolve on the yogic path. I couldn’t care less what the gender of the spirit choosing to reincarnate through me has and it surprises me that there are people out there who does!

The problem is that we have turned from a race with faith in the divine into a race with severe control issues. The idea of separation, of ”survival of the fittest” etc. has deceived us completely and we now think that we are responsible for everything; able to control everything from birth and love to death. It’s a bit like voluntarily taking on more work than you can manage without demanding a raise!

On dating-sites all over the world you can tick your preferences; anything from looks and hobbies to education and income, so that you can be sure not to meet and fall in love with a person not living up to your criteria. When I was single, I was frequently encouraged by friends and family to register on dating sites. I kept answering that I didn’t need to; that love that is destined for me always has found its way to me and will continue to do so, no matter where I am or what I do. In India, there is a lot of talk on love marriages versus arranged marriages, right? The funny thing is that the love marriages are even more arranged – synchronized by the law of attraction, knit together with karmic ties. Love, energetic resonance, vibrational harmony… whatever you want to call it… is never random or accident. This is important to understand; there are no coincidences, no synchronicity-errors or divine blunders… no ”ooops!”, but the manifestation of what was written into our spiritual contracts long ago.

The burden of trying to control everything is weighing heavier day by day on the shoulders of humanity and we must learn to outsource a part of it to the divine. Like Roshan used to say on his philosophy-lectures: ”Never give up… and always let go”.

Jenny Wickman
Asana Teacher & Naturopath
www.jennywickman.com